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The Surprising Self-Talk Strategy Used By The Smartest People Alive

Updated: Dec 21, 2023

I'll admit it - I talk to myself all the time. As I'm writing this blog post, going for a walk, or making dinner, there's an internal dialogue constantly going on in my head. Phrases like "Hmm, how should I phrase this next part?" or "Did I add enough garlic to the pasta sauce?" are common occurrences for me.


And I'm clearly not alone. Researchers estimate that between 60-80% of adults talk to themselves on a regular basis. But is talking to yourself normal and healthy? Or is it a sign of impending mental decline? As it turns out, science has quite a bit to say about our inner chatterbox.


self talk strategy

Why We Talk to Ourselves


Humans are meaning-making creatures. We have an innate drive to make sense of the world around us. For many of us, talking to ourselves is a way to do just that. As we go about our day, self-talk helps us:


  • Clarify thoughts and feelings. Putting our thoughts into words helps us better understand what we think and feel. Self-talk allows us to put emotional experiences into language.

  • Motivate ourselves. Talking to yourself can help boost morale, self-esteem, and motivation. Telling ourselves "I can do this!" or "Keep going!" can give our confidence a solid kick in the pants.

  • Organize ourselves. Self-talk helps us stay focused, plan goals and next steps, and stay on task. We talk ourselves through what needs to be done.

  • Self-reflect. Inner chatter helps us evaluate our own behaviors and thought processes. We can use self-talk to gain perspective.

  • "Is talking to yourself normal? For the majority of people, the answer is yes," says clinical psychologist Dr. Linda Sapadin. It's a manifestation of our internal thought processes.

The Many Flavors of Self-Talk


Not all self-directed speech is created equal, however. Experts distinguish between several different types of self-talk:


  • Positive: Example: “I did a great job giving that presentation. I worked hard and it went well!"

  • Neutral: Example: "I need to stop and grab milk at the store."

  • Negative: Example: “I’m such an idiot. Why didn’t I prepare more for that interview?"

  • Anxious: Example: “What if I fail this test? What will happen then?”


Positive self-talk is linked to higher self-esteem, greater motivation, and lower rates of depression. It also combats anxiety and boosts performance.


On the flip side, frequent negative self-talk tends to undermine confidence. Over time, it can contribute to anxiety, stress, self-doubt, and even physical health problems.


Some people also engage in self-critical inner speech, where they chastise themselves harshly. Research shows this is linked to a range of mental health issues like depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and PTSD.


Benefits of Self-Talk


Clearly, not all self-directed speech is helpful. But used effectively, engaging in regular internal dialogue offers many science-backed benefits:


1. Achieve goals and tasks more easily


Talking to yourself out loud can help you stay focused and on track with challenging projects.


In one study, participants completed a challenging task either silently or by vocalizing their thoughts aloud. The vocalizers made fewer errors and completed the task over twice as fast.


So don’t hold that inner voice back - giving voice to your thoughts can help you power through tasks successfully.


2. Enhances cognitive functioning


Keeping up an internal dialogue also appears to engage and enhance key cognitive skills like executive function (planning and organization), working memory, and verbal fluency.

As we mature and accumulate knowledge about the world, our inner chatter reflects that. Scientists theorize that this expanded internal discourse reflects greater cognitive complexity.


So all that chit-chat may be a sign your brain is getting a healthy workout!


3. Boosts self-control


Talking to ourselves also seems useful for controlling impulses and emotions. When actions get automatic, self-talk is less necessary. But when we hit a rough patch and need to manage feelings or hold back an urge, inner speech spikes up.


Self-talk helps us regulate both behavior and emotions. It acts like an inner coach, talking us through challenging situations.



4. Allows us to think more flexibly


Self-talk enhances our ability to think abstractly and flexibly apply information across contexts. Because inner speech tends to have less rigid rules than external speech, it promotes innovative, “outside the box” thinking.


Studies show that children and adults with robust inner dialogue are better able to creatively problem-solve, use metaphors, and understand cause-and-effect relationships.


Self-Talk and Mental Health


Given its influence over emotions and self-esteem, it probably won’t surprise you to learn that self-talk has major implications for mental health.


  • Positive self-talk is linked to higher self-esteem and lower rates of anxiety and depression.

  • Depressive thought patterns often include excessive negative self-talk. Ruminating over failures or blaming oneself fuels sadness and low moods.

  • Anxiety sufferers also tend to engage in obsessive internal dialogue filled with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios.


This makes sense when you consider that up to 70% of a person’s everyday thoughts are negative. That amount of self-criticism and pessimism can take its toll.


That’s why mental health professionals often utilize cognitive-based therapies to help people change depressive, anxious, or negative thought patterns. Altering inner dialogue is key for managing conditions like depression and anxiety disorders.


Fun Facts About Talking to Ourselves


Before we wrap up, here are a few fun tidbits about our tendency to talk to ourselves:


  • We are more honest with ourselves. People made fewer excuses and even lied less when asked to describe questionable behavior aloud to themselves vs. an experimenter.

  • Most self-talk happens silently, but some occur aloud. And when we do externalize it, people can overhear us! Yes- I have heard my sister doing that a lot.

  • Certain situations prompt more self-directed speech, like doing intellectually demanding/interesting tasks, experiencing stress, or being alone.

  • Both children AND adults talk aloud to themselves to help guide difficult tasks...and kids who do so tend to perform better! So self-directed speech starts young and continues throughout our lifetime.


The Takeaway

Hopefully, this article has convinced you that talking to yourself is not necessarily a worrisome habit. In most cases, it's perfectly normal and even beneficial!


Self-talk helps us clarify thoughts, motivate ourselves, reflect, and boost self-control. An active inner voice is linked to enhanced cognitive skills like planning, organization, and flexible thinking.


And perhaps most importantly, the content of our internal chatter has major implications for mental health and well-being. Positive self-talk tilts the scales towards greater confidence and self-esteem, while excessive negative self-talk can fuel anxiety and depression.


So the next time you catch yourself muttering under your breath, rest assured you're in good company. Just consider leveraging that inner dialogue to tell yourself something uplifting!

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