As someone who isn't a working mom myself, I don't have firsthand experience juggling the demands of family and career. However, many of my closest friends do face these challenges every day in their roles as working mothers. After hearing them vent their frustrations to me over the years, I decided to have candid conversations with several of them to get their best tips for achieving greater balance.
While I can offer compassion and emotional support as their friend, I realize I have a lot to learn when it comes to the practical realities of being a working parent. So I tapped into my mom friends' group to get their real-world advice on what strategies have helped them find more harmony between their jobs, families, and selves. My hope is that by sharing their wisdom here, it may support other working moms who resonate with these same struggles. To all the working mamas out there - this one’s for you!
Understanding the Struggle
Deciding to raise kids while advancing your career is courageous, but can understandably cause some tension. The truth is, that both require large investments of time, energy, and emotion. So how do you make sure neither suffers? It starts with accepting that the balance won't always be 50/50, and that's ok.
Key Things to Remember
When those feelings of family guilt or career insufficiency creep in, remind yourself:
Perfection is unattainable. Aim for "good enough".
Do the best you can each day, priorities will shift.
What's right today may change tomorrow. Re-evaluate often.
Let go of unfair expectations, society's and your own.
Tips from Real Working Moms
I asked a few fellow working mom friends to share what strategies have helped them balance their families and careers. Here is some of their insightful real-world advice:
"I try to be fully present wherever I am - either at home or at work. When I’m playing with my kids, I put away my phone and focus on them. When I’m working, I try not to think about the laundry piling up at home. This helps me avoid feeling like I’m failing at both." - Shivani, corporate employee and mom of two.
"I’ve let go of perfection when it comes to housework. The laundry can wait but my son won’t always want me to not read to him before bed." - Ayushi, teacher and new mom.
"Having a supportive partner who shares the family responsibilities makes a huge difference. We both compromise so the other can succeed in their career as well." - Kritika, business analyst and mom of one.
"As busy as life gets, I force myself to take 20 minutes a day to drink tea, meditate and regroup. This little bit of ‘me time’ helps me go back to my family and job more patient and focused." - Indira, marketing director and mom of twins.
Achieving Balance with These Strategies
In addition to changing perspectives, there are some logistical shifts working parents can make to ease the burden of a demanding career and family:
Normalize Flexible Hours and Remote Work
If possible, leverage options to work earlier/later, condense hours, or work remotely 1-2 days a week. This gives needed family time without fully sacrificing career goals.
Outsource and Automate Where You Can
Hire help for household tasks like cleaning or yard work. Leverage apps and auto delivery for errands like groceries or prescriptions. Any time savings add up.
Share the Load
Have an open conversation with your partner about evenly splitting household and childcare duties. Also, reach out to extended family or close friends for occasional help or babysitting relief.
Prioritize Quality Family Time
Focus any free moments on meaningful connection with loved ones - designated device-free dinners, evening walks together, Saturday morning adventures to the park.
Offer Grace and Ask for Help
Let go of seeking approval from others, offer grace to yourself, and don't be afraid to ask your village for help when you need it. We all need support sometimes.
Balancing Family and Career in Specific Situations
Achieving harmony between children, career and self looks different for everyone based on their unique circumstances. Here is some tailored advice for finding balance:
As a Single Parent
Seek networks of other single parents for solidarity and advice. Take advantage of school, place of worship, or community assistance programs. Have candid money conversations with kids early on. Most of all, let go of comparisons and unrealistic standards. Do the best YOU can each day.
As a Stay-at-Home Parent
Schedule regular check-ins with your partner to voice needs and tackle tensions early before they compound. Maintain professional skills with occasional project work or freelancing in your field. Embrace this season with kids and let go of seeking validation solely from career success.
In a High-Stress Job
Be fiercely protective of designated work hours to avoid overextending. Insulate family from job talk that breeds stress at home. Have an outlet like exercise or meditation to manage job tension. Most importantly, remember that no career success rivals the achievement of raising good human beings.
The Balancing Act is a Work in Progress
Learning to successfully manage both an ambitious career and family is an ongoing process full of trial and error. Be patient with yourself, communicate openly with your partner and support network, practice self-care, and don't be afraid to make adjustments until you find the harmony that works for YOU. The key is accepting there's no one right answer. We all deserve to feel contentment with our choices and peace in our purpose.
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